So you’ve just got engaged, you’re on top of the world, you can finally start putting into motion the day you have been dreaming of since you were 5 years old and the day you have been mentally planning since you were 16 years old.
So you start off slow, gathering ideas and attending wedding fairs, sipping Champaign, trying on gorgeous gowns this is AMAZING!
But then after the initial few months have been and gone, you get down to the hard graft of actually making this day happen.
You realize that there is more to this wedding planning lark that just trying on dresses, it’s actually pretty hard work.
You are expected to be a fashionista, choosing dresses for you and your bridesmaids, not forgetting the men who after 10 minutes of shopping are already bored. You are expected to be an interior designer creating the most beautiful room your guests have ever seen and that’s not forgetting to decorate the church too. A chef, choosing meals that will cater for your guests varying dietary requirements. You are the world peace keeper managing to gracefully accept the many ideas your friends and family have about your day whilst trying to ensure that it is also what you and your groom want. You’re the banker and financial advisor, yes let’s not forget that the majority of us are on budgets, and trying to explain to your groom that this really is how much a photographer costs is just one of many hurdles. You need to decide who you are inviting, do we really need your second cousins dog groomer or shall we just send them a piece of the cake, don’t even mention the seating plan! Before long it’s starting to feel like a full time job.
As if this wasn’t enough, brides today are expected to look like models, thin, effortlessly elegant and glowing on their wedding day. Are we putting ourselves under unnecessary pressure or is this just ‘what you do’ when you get married.
I am getting married this September, in 68 days to be specific but who’s counting! I have found myself just over 2 months before the big day thinking, right so I guess I should start a diet then. And I’m challenged by this. I am fairly content with my body, I eat things in moderation and I look after myself, so why is it that as brides we feel we need to change ourselves for what is ultimately one (very special) day when the man we are marrying has always loved us the way we are, is it for us, our groom, for the photo’s or is it just what is done?
When looking at ‘wedding timelines’ outlining what needs to be done I have persistently seen ‘start exercise regime’, ‘start beauty regime’, ‘start diet’ as far as 6 months in advance. Sure we all want to look our best, we want to radiate beauty and have a bridal glow on our wedding days, but are we taking things too far?
Because I know that our wedding day is not going to be the most special day of our lives because we managed to match the ties to the bridesmaids dresses, not because we managed to book that band that everyone likes, not because I managed to lose half a stone and Adam got his hair cut, and it won’t be ruined if the flower girl refuses to walk down the aisle, or because the caterer forgot to serve that wine with that course that you spent 2 hours choosing, not because it rains or because you woke up with a spot…it will be the most special of our lives because we get to say ‘I will’, because this day is celebrating the love we have for one another, because this day is about celebrating with those who you love that God brought you together and you get to promise to be with one another for the rest of your lives.
So the rest of it (as lovely as it is) isn’t important, relax, your wedding day will be the happiest day of your life without that stuff. If by the end of the day you got to marry your best friend, the love of your life and he is your husband, then everything went well. So in my opinion we need to be kinder to ourselves, you’re doing a hard enough job as it is, don’t put yourself through more than you need to because you know what you will look beautiful and you will be glowing because the smile of a woman who has just married the love of her life is the most beautiful thing in the world!